Name: Lucyj (Signed) · Date: 26 May 2020 04:31 PM · For: Chapter 27

This is the best thing i have ever read. Your words are beautiful, your imagery perfect, thankyou 

Author's Response:

Thank you so much! I can't tell you how much that means to me. Thank you for taking the time to leave me your thoughts. I'm so glad you liked it. This truly made my evening.  xoxo, Jessica 

Name: eotopia (Signed) · Date: 27 Mar 2020 07:04 AM · For: Chapter 27

Um... I already know the words I write here are never going to do the justice I really wish they would but alas I’m going to try. First let me say that I read this final chapter in a warm bath with a glass of red and it ended with me in genuine, heart felt tears. I know it was always leading to this and I truly held off reading for so long as I didn't want to feel this way – sad and lost and melancholy, the way you do when your favourite TV series comes to an end and you’re not quite sure what to do with yourself anymore, and even if the ending is happy (which it was) you still feel somewhat.. lost. 

 

BUT in an effort to get over my sadness I’m going to pretend it’s not over yet by highlighting each part that truly spoke to me so you will always know the gravity and weight your words have:

 

- "The sight of her reflection in the mirror was a stark reminder of all that they had weathered, the outward signs of her injuries having faded somewhat but leaving a ghostly impression on her skin. In some ways, it felt like a representation of her internal state - battered and bruised yet trying resolutely to heal." (As always I cannot get over the way you craft sentences so perfectly to create such a picture for the reader. A true talent.)

 

- "She heard the pull of the curtain and the hiss of the shower, the sound sparking another wave of recognition to flow through her of what it meant that Elliot was here, sharing her space." (Just these little things, the jarring way in which he is interwoven into her space and how it hits her.)

 

- The whole string of internal thoughts you wrote about going back to her apartment and the precinct and how it would bring up the past and how she can't even fathom how much things have changed between them indefinitely and is scared that it will return back to how they once were, like the “dream vanishing”. I could feel that so deeply, the idea that a setting could automatically cause them to fall back into who they used to be - "that the declarations made and affections exchanged had been an ephemeral glimpse of a future that would be unable to withstand the weight of their past." (Just wow. You explain it much better than I just did haha)

 

- "I'm not leaving." "I wasn't going to make you" (I don't know why but I love this exchange between them, it's so them.)

 

- "The exchange had been small, statements uttered quietly against a backdrop of uncertainty and regret. Neither had realized the significance of the moment, yet in retrospect, the recollection encapsulated the start of it all. It was the moment in which Elliot had solidified his intent to be present in her life in a different way, and the moment in which Olivia had first acknowledged that she needed him to stay." (For as long as I live I will never know how your mind can create such a beautiful imagery and perfectly crafted sentences.)

 

- "She couldn't remember anything between the crest of her grief and the moment she'd returned to the present to find Elliot crouched beside her. It’s okay it’s just you and me." (This whole part and the words you use! I'm in awe. The CREST of her grief - just wow.)

 

- "It's over... Everything is over," she thought in dismay, images from their years of partnership racing through her head. This is my partner, Detective Stabler." (I felt this. That terrifying feeling that the choice was no longer hers, their partnership was ripped from her within seconds, she didn't even have time to come to terms with it, I love that you forced this upon them so the decision and pain didn't drag, it was ripped like a bandaid which ultimately would take less time to accept/heal.)

 

- The way you describe little details that really gives weight to the characters like when Elliot reaches around her to "ease the cash from her".  You could have easily written "takes the cash" but using the word 'ease' gives it this whole other meaning, he doesn’t want to rattle her or upset her in anyway. Just beautiful.  

 

- "Lara's disconsolate wail...the feel of her tiny body shaking against hers as she had grieved in her arms - memories of a lifetime of abuse erupting in a torrent of inconsolable sobs. Hurt." (I feel everything you write.)

 

- "When Elliot spoke again his voice was quiet and thick with fatigue." (Again your word choices are everything.)

 

- "The only thing she needed to know...was whether or not you had hurt me." The silence in the room was deafening. (This part... just wow. A moment. I held my breath.)

 

- The part where you describe the day she tried to push her feelings away and re-establish their boundaries. I could feel that panic like it was a desperate attempt to retain what she could in case she lost it all. I always thought it would be that way for her, like she'll take whatever she can, she doesn't want to lose it all or risk anything about them, when she's already lost so much in her life.

 

- "No more hiding," he said softly, his thumb delicately skimming over the moisture coating her skin. He watched the anguish intensify in her eyes, her chin quivering as they silently acknowledged the end of what was once the most important partnership of their lives." (Knife through the heart, I had to take deep breaths.). 

 

- "Silence descended upon them again, the rain still tapping insistently against the glass in a way that felt bleaker somehow given the weight of the conversation." (Woman... I can't with your descriptions.)

 

- "I'd known for a while..." He shook his head in self-correction. "I think I'd always known..." "That you were in love with her," Huang stated simply. (My stomach did a back flip here for real! He really did that? Boom. Mic drop.).

 

- "The memories of that moment - her palm against the glass, her expression as she mouthed, 'I love you' - crashing over him with unexpected intensity. (What a shattering image for him to see, I think about this moment a lot). 

 

- When she says she'd "do it all over again” regarding saving his kids and how you have her enter the room like that, the tension and suspense you create is palpable.

 

- "If either of their lives were in jeopardy - in the event of another Gitano - they would always choose each other." (Those home truths you interweave and how you bring it so close to the original series.)

 

- I love the change of air from when Haung first arrives to just before he leaves, like Haung had settled them down so much in that conversation, but then of course it all implodes when he leaves, I just love that perfectly crafted journey you take us on.

 

- I really enjoyed the Gitano juxtaposition and how you reference that back then he was too much in his “fear” but now he can make “peace”.

 

- "I'm not recommending a transfer, Olivia...just some reshuffling." (Gosh I just love how delicately you navigate that moment, it’s the same result but far less painful than she first imagined, Haung is really good at his job! Lol.)

 

- "Motivated as much by his understanding of how deeply their love for one another extended as he was by his desire to ensure that they'd never again have to make an impossible choice...nor live with the consequences of it. (Wordsmith!)

 

- "Stay with me… Please stay," he thought over and over to himself. "I need this… I need you." (I love that you had this coming from Elliot this time. His fear and concern at the impending loss of their partnership and what that would mean if still after all this she did run.) 

 

- Honestly tho I don’t think I’ve ever read a fic that has detailed how brutally heartbreaking the end of their partnership would be even if they still do get each other at the end of the day romantically. I’m not sure I’ve read a fic that touches on it so deeply re how devastating that loss would be! It's in the simple words you use like Elliot's struggle with the  “daily separation” and having “her life in someone else’s hands” – the partnership breakdown scene is one of my favourite moments as it’s all stripped away in one moment of that door closing when Haung left and reality hit for them both. Olivia’s reaction was so violently heart breaking! You did it so well. 

 

- "He felt her begin to pull away, and it added to his feelings of failure. He felt powerless to comfort her here…just as he was now powerless to protect her on the outside." (For a second I felt like she was going to run, Elliot's concern was so real).

 

- "Their partnership had spanned a decade marked by triumphs and losses, fractures and unity; yet no matter what trials and tribulations had come to pass, the threads of their history were interwoven into a tapestry overwhelmingly comprised of mutual respect and support - the complexities of what might once have been considered a close friendship, now clearly defined as love." (Okay this part right here! The ultimate. This needs to be framed! If it fits in a tweet I'm tweeting it to the masses! It explains everything and it is everything.)

 

- "Olivia's hands shook slightly as she fumbled with the drawstring to his sweatpants, urgency and - adrenaline coursing through her as Elliot continued to steal her breath." (Urgency/Adrenaline, woman even my heart was beating fast!)

 

- "One side of his mouth quirked into a wry smile, indicating the entrance to her bedroom that remained several feet away with a slight gesture of his head. "Almost made it," he said. (LOL! I love it.)

 

- Olivia dropped her gaze though the hint of a smile remained. "I kind of always imagined that this is how it might be between us, if we ever..." she shrugged, her eyes returning to his. "You thought I wouldn't have any willpower?" he teased. (I LOVE this part so much and I have to say that I have recently written an epilogue for End Game [which I really hope you one day do too for BP!] and this exact concept was in it, the idea of what it would have been like for them had they not gone through horrific trauma together, if they had consummated their relationship in the earlier days even before heavy moments like Harris etc, she imagines what it would have been like and how free and uninhibited they would have been with each other, cheeky/power plays etc so I love that you acknowledged that here as that’s how I feel it would truly be.)

 

- “How long does the wooing phase last” (LOL very cute)

 

- “I might be a bit over-protective for a while," he acknowledged through a slight smile. She chuckled, responding with faux shock. "You?" "And I might be feeling a bit...possessive right now, Benson." He felt the curve of her lips as she smiled against the juncture of his neck and shoulder. "I noticed." (We all noticed! And we all approve, I love a possessive Elliot and the fact that you took the time to first move so carefully through the healing in prior chapters which made the perfect foundation for this uninhibited, raw experience – it’s the true "them". So well done!) 

 

- Okay," he managed, inhaling deeply as if her scent was the balm that would reassure the workings of his anxious mind. (I could honestly quote this entire fic back to you with praise, these lines are just pure gold).

 

- "We're partners, El," she said softly, emotion pervading her tone. "Always have been...always will be." (Ugly sobbing, yes they still are technically partners, just romantic now).

 

- "Semper Fi, Liv... All the days of my life." (Perfection... the tears fell after this. You couldn’t have ended it better and I was legitimately in shock how it all came together like that. You're brilliant.)

 

So now that I've come to the end of this review I will say in summation, finishing this fic was honestly the end of an era for me (just as you mentioned it was for you to finish), it almost felt like something had lifted when I finished, like the last decade evaporated in some sort of healing sense. Is that insane to even mention? I know I'm probably sounding ridiculously dramatic but that's how it felt, like I was letting go of something to make way for something new, something lighter. I've always said to you, your writing heals people and this final chapter was no exception for me. 

 

Thank you for all that you do, the words that you write, the songs that you sing, the art that you create, the photos you share and the care you provide to your friends, colleagues, clients and the twitter sphere - the world is a better place with you in it and we’re so lucky to have you. I'm so grateful to have found this fic and to have met you as a result and to now call you my friend, I'll always love this story and you. X

Author's Response:

I'm so sorry that this response is coming so late, but I think similar to your hesitancy to finish reading this, it was hard for me to respond to this knowing that it was the last review for this story that brought us together in real life. Silly, I suppose. But someone else reviewed today, and it brought me back here so... here I am. (Scrolling through...) I love that you picked out the part where she's looking in the mirror. I did that thing I do where I write and re-write a sentence 40,000 times, and that's where it ultimately landed. Re: the sounds of him in her space, it felt so domestic to me, and for someone like Liv who hasn't had that in her life, I thought those little things might stand out to her more starkly. Re: her introspection back to their prior return to the precinct, this whole chapter for me was about reflection. Everything for them has changed, and the road that brought them here was so complicated and fraught with fears of that kind - like that one, where she'd worried that their professional roles and old patterns would somehow be stronger than the new path they were embarking upon. Very much a leap of faith for them, but especially Liv. Re: The "I'm not leaving..." exchange in ch. 9, I'm not sure why, but it always stood out to me as such a turning point for them. Felt right to bring the recollection of it back in this chapter. Re "crest of her grief", aw shucks. Thanks. And yes! Talk about the rug getting pulled out from beneath her with Huang's appearance when she was already reeling in the aftermath of Lara. It felt to me like she'd have so many thoughts and memories flooding her at once there. (And that's why I tried to make Elliot's actions extra gentle - trying to be so careful not to do anything jarring). Re: the part where you said you held your breath, I did too. Lol. Because he did hurt her, and they all know that, but as we all know, it's so complicated. Re: the part where I revisit ch. 10 (her attempts to return home alone to re-establish the boundaries), it was exactly that point that you mentioned - the fear of losing him completely, so her desire to cling to what she knew. But I'd always wanted her words with Huang that day to come out in the open, because I think it creates such a poignant emotional moment for Elliot as he sort of suddenly understands their entire pre-BP history in a different way. Like...he finally sees how bleak it was for her to think that without their partnership, she truly would have had nothing left at all. Was glad to be able to weave that in here. Re: "No more hiding..." oy. Yeah, I was emo too. Lol. Acknowledging the end of everything they once knew, and the partnership that had been so intensely significant for each of them. Re: Huang's mic drop... Lol! Right? He's so perceptive. He's done pussyfooting around. Ha. Re: the memory of her trapped behind the glass - the image of that always was extra tragic for me, that at the time she finally mouths "I love you", they each think it's the first and only time she'll ever be able to say that to him... I like that you called this a "journey" and mentioned the shift in tone from the start of Huang's appearance to the end of it. It made me think about it in a different way. Sort of like this chapter is then navigating another journey within the bigger one? Confrontation of truth and change and meaning?  Re: "wordsmith" - Aw shucks, again. Also really glad you picked that one out. And thanks re: your comments on Elliot's path to confronting what it means for him for their partnership to be over. That's the "Bodyguard" parallel I mentioned to you, when he really has to confront his fear of not being able to be there for her as direct protector in the field. Such a terrifying prospect for him, especially in the aftermath of all they've weathered in this fic. And I'm glad you liked the sequence after Huang leaves as a whole. I think had it not been for all of the trauma-processing over the last few chapters, they wouldn't have been able to just lose and find themselves in one another as freely as they were able to now that the physical trust is there as much as the emotional trust is. It felt like they were finally able to be THEM for the first time, with the absence of the trauma from their undercover history. And SO so very glad that you were happy with the ending. As always, I wasn't really sure how it was going to end per se (not in the details) and then the characters essentially wrote it for me. In my head, when he's whispering things to her that we, as readers, don't hear, he's essentially whispering marriage vows, then ending with the "Semper Fi". So... Here we are. The end of an era as you said. It's just a fanfic. I know this. But it happens to have been the reason that we got to know each ofher, and so in my mind, BP will always be what brought me you. And man, how lucky am I to have such an amazing friend. I would not have finished this story without your support. That's a fact. And I needed to finish it for my own journey...so, so badly. So...thank you. Infinite thanks and love. xoxo, Jessica 

Name: wish_19 (Signed) · Date: 17 Feb 2020 09:42 AM · For: Chapter 27

Hi Jessica! 

I don't think I've ever left you a review before, but I wanted to make sure I let you know how much this story has meant to me over the years. I first discovered Breaking Point back in 2010 (eep!), I think on the original SVU fiction site, and I was completely hooked from the start. I think I even started listening to Massive Attack because of BP, haha. I was a college student at the time, and that year was a very difficult one for me personally, so such well-written, engrossing fanfic really helped me through some tough times. I was crushed that the story wasn't finished, of course, but that was a common problem to run into with fanfic. 

I was completely thrilled to stumble upon the remake of my favorite fanfic site years later, and to see that you'd picked this particular story back up again! I have just finished reading -- got a bit behind due to RL things, but I loved the ending, and I wanted to thank you so so so much for sharing this with all of us! The story was captivating, and the way you write Elliot and Olivia is so true to canon, so believable without being over the top or corny. It was just the right amount of everything, honestly, and the way you depicted trauma especially really spoke to me. 

Sorry, I'm rambling, but I just wanted to make sure you knew that you have a huge stan who has been with you from the beginning, silently lurking and enjoying, and that your words have really made a difference in her life. 

All the best!! (Write more stories ;) ) 

- Wish

Author's Response:

Oh my goodness, I don't know where to begin. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave me your thoughts. First off, the fact that you remembered the story and hung in there with me for so long despite my prolonged absence/abandonment of the story for all those years is something for which I'm hugely grateful. I'm so sorry that I fell off of the face of the planet for as long as I did. Secondly, that you felt that I did the characters justice means a lot, as it was a challenge to figure out how to keep them true to themselves against the backdrop of something so hugely traumatic. Which, then, brings me to your comments about feeling that I addressed the trauma and aftermath appropriately, and that you connected with that in a personal way...which honestly is the most meaningful thing that you could possibly have said to me. Thank you so much. I'm so glad. I poured a lot of myself and real life emotion into this story, so the fact that it resonated with you means so much. Thanks, thanks, thanks. You made my morning. xoxo, Jessica (also...LOVE Massive Attack. So glad that this led you to them.)

Name: Clemencline (Signed) · Date: 22 Jul 2019 10:21 PM · For: Chapter 1

You did such a great job! Thank you for this gift.

Author's Response:

Thank you so much! I can’t tell you how much this means to me. I’m so glad you liked the story. Thank you for taking the time to leave me your thoughts. xoxo, Jessica

Name: Poetif (Signed) · Date: 19 Jun 2019 05:26 AM · For: Chapter 27

Such a journey with these two.  Loved Huang's impromptu visit.  They already knew they'd be seperated but he put Olivia at ease that she wasn't being kicked out of SVU despite he new inability to be without Elliot physically by her side.  

I like how eventually they couldn't NOT touch and comfort one another, how Huang's gentle but professional nature eased them into being able to do so.  And, how he gave them permission to heal, to feel everything they need to and to deal with it, together. 

I'm glad they'll be giving him the laptop.  With what they put that little girl through, as well as Olivia, it's obvious there's a possibility of other victims.  Very unselfish of them.  

You took them through such physical, mental and emotional trauma that a happy ending seemed an impossibility but I'm glad you found one for them.

Keep writing.

Author's Response:

Thank you so much for this lovely feedback! Glad you liked Huang’s visit. (A bit unorthodox for the house call, I know, but I needed to have another Huang scene and couldn’t figure out a reason for them to head to the precinct in the short term. I also liked the idea of neither of them having the option to pretend things were platonic to try to delay the inevitable.) So, I’m very glad you felt that it worked, including the way things gradually unfolded within that encounter... And yes, the laptop... I had to deal with that somehow, and the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea that Huang was a safe person to entrust with that task. I think he would handle it with sensitivity and discretion, and I felt it further solidified the idea of a mutually respectful professional rapport despite the fact that their encounters with him always contained some trepidation. He’s a good egg, I think. Heart’s in the right place. Thank you so much for sticking with me for the long haul. It’s been great to get your input. xoxo, Jessica 

Name: Poetif (Signed) · Date: 11 Mar 2019 02:31 PM · For: Chapter 26

They unpacked a lot.  Some dark, some light.  I loved when she said she didn't want anyone rescuing her from Sealview...or anywhere I'd imagine since she has a history of doing that for herself.  I've read many fics, may have even written one where she wished it was him instead of Fin so I appreciated that tidbit.  The heat of their sexual interludes and the ongoing detailed description was so much that I found myself skipping to them talking.  Hey, I'm a writer who loves dialogue.  Sue me, lol.  But it was sensual and seemingly another piece of themselves they were trying to hide from each other.  I feel like they peeled back a lot of layers.  Things work better for them with conversation instead of assumptions.  I was surprised to find a 'tbc' instead of a 'the end'.  It certainly could've ended here.   All in all, great update.

Author's Response:

Thanks so much for the feedback.  Duly noted on the physical intimacy front, but I view Chapter 24-26 as not just being the evolution of the intimacy in and of itself, but of part of all that they are having to work through related to their healing process.  Specific aspects of the trauma from the undercover arise as they open themselves more fully (their physical responses ultimately preventing them from holding themselves back emotionally), which then impacts the way they confront pieces of their trust in one another, Eliiot’s trust of himself, etc. The intensity of the feelings that emerge is the catalyst for them to open up verbally to be honest about fears and failings, and ultimately it’s because of the openness and rawness of the conversation that comes from that (there’s your dialogue...lol) that they’re able to finally put the bulk of that darkness behind them.  That’s why I lingered there for as long as I did.  I also felt like the undercover was so detailed and brutal, that the restorative healing encounters needed to be a parallel undoing of that. But it’s why that level of detail no longer needed to be there at the end of the chapter, because the love and peace for each of them was now firmly established. I like your use of “peeling back the layers” because that’s how I’ve mentally approached this entire story.  So, anyway, rest assured that dialogue is what remains for them, and that yes, you’re totally correct in that we’re incredibly close to the end of their journey. It’s a “TBC” for a bit more processing, but essentially this was a case fic, so with the end of the case comes the end of BP... :) xoxo, Jessica 

Name: Dazhane (Signed) · Date: 11 Nov 2018 07:30 PM · For: Chapter 25

I NEED MORE....THIS IS MY FAVORITE FANFIC EVER!!

Author's Response:

Oh my goodness, thank you so much!!!! I can’t tell you how much that means to me. I apologize in advance because I write really, REALLY, slowly, but I promise you this fic is no longer abandoned and that more will come. We’re so close to the finish line now, and I want my BP universe versions of Liv and El to have some closure. Thank you, thank you, thank you for taking the time to leave me this feedback. I needed a boost today, and this review did it. xoxoxo, Jessica

Name: Poetif (Signed) · Date: 21 Oct 2018 12:53 AM · For: Chapter 25

Aww, they're a couple of sweet kids, lol.  They're communicating better and better, not letting each other hide.  After that hell of a case, I wouldn't be surprised if one or both of them left.  At a minimum, they sure as hell could use some couch time with a qualified mental health professional.

Author's Response:

Ha! Yes, I second your “aww”. It only took almost 600 pages to get them here...lol. So, all that was needed was a decade of unresolved sexual tension, Sealview, and the “hell of a case” as you so aptly put it, and voilà! They finally learn how to communicate...;)  I’m laughing about your couch time comment, but can’t tell you why yet. To be continued... But, in the mean time, they earned this evening’s snuggle. xoxo, Jessica

Name: eotopia (Signed) · Date: 19 Oct 2018 09:16 PM · For: Chapter 25

Okay so my words are never truly going to do justice but let me try.

- I loved that you referenced the times they had embraced in the past and how they knew they wanted more even then. I pictured Paternity and Pursuit!

- I love that Elliot’s resistance to let her go in his arms when she was getting out of bed was met with “You’ve got me El.” 

- But most of all when she says she felt empty after that night because she thought she would never have him like that again. My poor little heart exploded!! And when she goes “I felt...” and he finished it with “Like you lost everything? Me too.” I was blown away. I REALLY appreciate you including this thought as it gives us an understanding and insight into how Elliot felt that night! Wow just wow. It adds a whole new dimension for me as a reader of this fic for nearly a decade. It’s like I’ve just realised I needed to know something that I never knew lol

- When he checks her body out ‘subtly’ and she arches her eyebrow!! I just love how you write these finer details. It’s so in character and is just how I would imagine it happening. 

- THIS entire section was so important: “Liv, you'll tell me, right? If I ever...if-" She kissed him...stealing his words and his thoughts and his breath.—-. "Yes," she replied huskily. "Always." - Wow. It just. It made me feel like things will be okay now!

- Elliot’s internal agonising back and forth was also v important and the spiel where you mentioned he’s usually so confident and decisive with his decisions. A lot of people talk shit about “angry Elliot” and “unstabler” etc on the show but what they fail to realise is he has this softer side- he’s in inner turmoil just like the rest of us and we see it come out in certain episodes like Swing. So thank you for pointing that out for us (and for Olivia) so she could come to this awareness too. I feel like it gives her more control back in a way, and allows her to have greater empathy for his side just as much as hers. 

- “In all honesty, I wasn't really thinking at all." “And you think I was?" she teased. - LOL I love. 

- “Her own smile breaking free as she turned to walk back down the hall.” I love the concept of her smile breaking free as if she’s kept it at bay for so long. 

- 8 days wow! Puts a lot in perspective.

- When we hear about how he felt like an asshole the night of the photographs! I just love getting this additional insight!! It’s like when you get the special features on a DVD of your favourite movie and you watch the commentary and extended scenes and suddenly there are whole new levels to it hahaha

- When you make reference to Olivia contemplating life as just Elliot’s partner after all this and so thankful that wasn’t the case (that for me felt more damaging that his death!! HELL NO.) 

- "You need to know...if you hadn't been there - if this had happened with anyone else - I wouldn't be okay right now." This is SO true and v important!! 

- “You have literally been the one thing keeping me from completely falling apart." *SOBS*

- OMG and when he talks about her curling into him that night in the car for protection and how relieved he was to be able to get her trust back after everything. Incredible. Olivia has spent her life trying to prove that she doesn’t need anyone to take care of her, but right there in that moment she was open and vulnerable and needed him. I think without this Elliot would feel redundant (as would any man), particularly when it comes to developing a romantic relationship. Your disarming Olivia slowly and unravelling her protective layers is truly beautiful. Goals.

- Also it’s important that I note you have no idea how happy I was to see the end note saying it was TBC bc for a second I had an irrational fear that it was over and I wasn’t ready yet!! Even tho I knew it wasn’t ending. I know it’s coming to a close soon but boy am I glad there is still more bc I need to be guided through it gently lol pls hold my hand 

All in all, thank you for all this hard work and dedication over the years Jess. This story should have at least 10000 reviews imo 71 is pitiful. Step up fandom lol.  

Love you.  

Author's Response:

I seriously don’t know where I’d be without you. I might not have picked this story back up again after all of those years had it not been for your nudges that let me know that there was still at least one reader out there who remembered it and wanted it to continue... And in the absence of the old SVU community that I lost all those years ago, I can’t tell you how much it means that you take the time to give me such amazingly rich feedback. It’s not the review count I care about, but I do miss hearing about what stands out for people...what resonates. So, thank you. I know I perpetually tell you this, but now it’s publicly displayed for perpetuity. ;) Anyhoo (sifting through your review) - based on my fic timeframe (canon through Undercover and then set several months ambiguously into the future, the Paternity hug had happened (Elliot initiated), but Pursuit hadn’t. Which is why I think it means that much more to Elliot in this story when she seeks out physical comfort from him in the car. She never let herself be vulnerable enough to do so prior. But yes, from the Paternity hug, you see so many emotions there... I’m so glad you liked the snippets of Elliot’s perspective in this chapter. I think they’re finally to a place where their defenses are down, they feel comfortable and safe with one another to the extent that some of the pieces of doubt and regret that they were keeping from one another can finally be freely shared. They’re now at a place where they aren’t censoring themselves out of a sense of presenting a “strong” front, because I think they’re finally understanding that sharing their vulnerabilities with one another *is* strength and that being open is what is allowing them to heal. (Finally...lol...only took a decade and 600 pages...) I’m so glad you picked out the “Liv, you’ll tell me...if I ever...” part! I’m so glad you “got” that and why I put it in there. I was going back and forth on whether to have him control himself or not (preceding scene) but I felt like they needed to have a moment where they got swept up in the desire (because it’s there) but then have to figure out whether or not it’s okay to do so against the backdrop of the trauma... Complicated. So I opted to keep it in, because it was the only way I felt like that sort of concern on his part could come out in an organic way. (i.e. Was it okay for him to act on impulse/feeling? Was it too much for her? Was he making the wrong decision again? Harming her in some way by taking charge?) So I needed her to be able to reassure him in that moment. Because she does have her voice back. And YES! Thank you. There is more to Stabler than Unstabler. He has layers. I think so much of the exterior is bravado, and I think that he has a lot more complicated inner monologue going on all the time than what we see on the show (such as, as you mentioned, the glimpses we see in eps like Swing). And OY yes - talk about a whopper of an 8 days. Can you imagine if Petrov hadn’t come along? If they were just damaged “partners”?  If she had gone up to her apartment that day, separated from Elliot, fallen back into old patterns and just avoided/withdrawn?? They would be beyond hot messes at this point. Drunk or suicidal or something. Not sure how they would ever have coped with the aftermath of the club (let alone Lara) without being able to seek comfort from one another. That would be one depressing, depressing end. Can you imagine Olivia getting the call and not having him there physically or emotionally? *shudder* But unlike the show writers, I actually do have *some* compassion...lol. Love you oodles... Thank you for this review. Love that you are understanding the pieces I’m pulling back from preceding chapters. It’s been hard to wait so long to address some of this stuff, but I think it had to happen bit by bit (as Olivia said, they hadn’t been ready...) xoxoxo, Jessica 

Name: ReginaExMachina (Signed) · Date: 23 Aug 2018 04:03 AM · For: Chapter 1

So I'll start the review of the first chapter by saying that I can't believe I skirted around reading this for so long. I knew it was going to be one of those heavy-hitting fics, and in my experience, those tend to include a lot of damaging the characters. Not that angst isn't enjoyable to read, but for the most part, in those fics, the healing process usually leaves a lot to be desired. That was NOT the case with Breaking Point.

That being said, I am SO happy I read this. It was an incredible ride from start to finish. I read it all in one night. One long, long sleepless night. :)

---

I loved the first chapter. I was expecting your regular case, but towards the ending I was like :O where is this going? It was definitely a great hook, I was very intrigued and ready for the next chapter. 

Author's Response:

This was such an awesome surprise to wake up to this morning.  I wasn't expecting any reviews for the initial chapters, to be honest.  I was a new writer on the old site back in the day, so a) I was trying to figure out how to write a story and b) I was posting very small chapters because I wasn't sure whether or not anyone would be willing to read something from a newbie.  At any rate, my *hope* had been that the hook at the end would keep people coming back until I could find my rhythm.  I'm SO beyond grateful that you decided to give this story a try, and I really can't tell you how much I appreciate your feedback about the way I addressed/am addressing the healing process.  That, to me, was the primary focus of the story in general - not the undercover op.  The undercover was the catalyst...but the aftermath was an example of the kind of catastrophic event that needed to happen (in my mind) to ever bring those two characters together.  And I CANNOT BELIEVE you read this all in one sitting???  In case you want to feel extra proud of yourself, you managed to navigate 571 pages in total... lol. I can't wait to hear the rest of your thoughts as we move forward.  xoxo, Jessica

Name: HaileyStabler (Signed) · Date: 12 Aug 2018 12:40 PM · For: Chapter 24

So so so beautiful. I wish I had words to express how deeply wonderful this chapter is. Thank you.

Author's Response:

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you felt this way.  I know I already said it, but you don't need to give me a lot of words... I've just been so overwhelmed about finally getting to put this chapter into writing (and by extension, so nervous to post it), that I'm just hoping for feedback (big or small) on whether or not it resonated with people.  So... thanks for this! It's so hard to see read counts going up but not being able to read between the lines to know what people are thinking. This helped/helps tremendously and I so appreciate you for doing so. xoxoxo, Jessica

Name: eotopia (Signed) · Date: 12 Aug 2018 09:36 AM · For: Chapter 24

Okay so you would have already read the majority of this review in tweet format via my interactive gifs so this may pale in comparison but here are just a few of my favourite things that I loved about this incredible chapter:

- The description of the rain against the windshield (emo)
- The fact that she’s stubborn and wants to get wet with him in the rain (side eyes)
- The romantic feel of the rain despite context
- The way he cleans up her home so she doesn’t have to see the evidence (angel)
- The way you create tension and newness even tho they’ve been intimate before but it feels like it’s their first time (talent queen)
- “You wore these?" He liked the idea of it. (death)
- The way you write the phone call with only snippets of the other line overheard from the reader (goals)
- When Lara becomes a case number (le creys)
- “It was nothing." It was everything. (epic)
- The way you write their push and pull (when Elliot moves back then Olivia moves forward) 
- “Not here” “Not here either.” (Third time lucky)
- The way she acknowledges that it may never have got to that point without the case. 
(“I think we might not be here if..” / “I think we’ve always been here.”) #Facts
- “She stood before him in the darkened room, any sounds from the city muted by the rain pattering insistently against the glass” - (DESCRIPTION FTW)
- “It hadn't been one-sided. Elliot was telling her more in that one sentence than anything ever could.” (My f**king heart)
- “She looked up at him once more, and when their eyes met, the strength of their connection took her breath away.” (Send help)
- “Perhaps most confusingly the abuse had been protective.” (Bittersweet angsty torn confused feelings - gah) 
- “Thoughts eclipsed by feelings” (my literary gangsta)
- “Elliot” “Yeah” “Touch me” (*Blasts self with fire extinguisher*)
- “As she silently invited him to seek some relief..” (death fav line) 
- “He had always interpreted it as her heart taking over.” (heaven is real)
- “If they hadn't been in that room…if she hadn't had to keep fighting him…she would have let him do whatever he wanted…however he wanted. She had never, ever, let anyone have that much control over her.” (No comment, but also SEVERAL comments in private)...
- And finally I LOVE YOU! 
- I was healed today through the written word.

Author's Response:

So... You're kind of the most amazing person on the planet. Between your support yesterday and today, I've just felt so peaceful. I know you knew how much I have been agonizing over this chapter...and I was expecting you to give me feedback, but not to this degree... so, THANK YOU.  Don't want to be redundant with my review feedback given what we've talked about on and offline so far, but... again, in my head the rain has been meaningful/symbolic in so many ways over the past two chapters, and I'm so glad it helped with the mood. (LOL re: your side-eye comment about getting "wet" with him. Ha!)... I love that Elliot helps fix up her apartment - not just because it's needed, but because he knows it will help her feel calmer... I'm glad you felt the tension/newness for them, because I really feel that for all intents and purposes, everything is a "first" given the traumatic way things unfolded prior... I love that you picked out the line about her wearing his clothes. I feel like an insane person, because that part just sort of happened randomly as I was writing, but it kept making me smile on my re-reads. That she had them all that time, that they represented his past and his protection, that she didn't want to cop to having them the night of the photos (because they weren't together and she didn't want to lose that piece of him), and then just how stinkin' cute they are - how she's all embarassed and he's giving her an "out". *sigh* I want the El that lives in my story... ;) ...I'm so glad the phone call "worked". I was trying to put people in Olivia's shoes for that whole horrific moment... "It was everything." *sobs* I was such a basket case writing this chapter... Re: the push/pull, I can only see the third dog GIF now that you've posted it and it makes me smile... "Third time lucky" - LOLOL... Amen to your "Facts" hashtag. So glad you picked out those lines because Elliot's especially made me feel a weight lifting from each of their shoulders. Like he is able to completely re-write their past/angst/insecurities/drama/Dani effing Beck saga with those words... Love that you picked out that description of her standing before him. That part made me feel peaceful to write as well. That and the one where I talk about the patterns of light and shadow with the rain. Sort of like the cleansing/healing/renewal concept you talked about, because the movement of the light and shadows make it seem like the rain is almost still touching their skin?... I am throwing you a virtual life jacket re: the eye contact/connection. They have always communicated so much with a look... And yeah, ugh, the complicated and twisty emotions coming from the "protective abuse" concept. So confusing and hard and everything is so close to the surface because she's so raw from the emotions of the day. (Elliot's "floodgates" statement)... LOL re: "blasts self with fire extinguisher". I almost snorted out my coffee earlier when I read that. :D... Aw shucks, re: "heart taking over". Truth though, I think... And ROTFLMAO again on the "No comment, but also SEVERAL comments in private".  HA! Yeah...so...we'll just keep that chit chat offline, shall we?? ;) Love you so much my dear... So grateful for you. xoxoxo, Jessica

Name: PartnersEO (Signed) · Date: 24 Jun 2018 10:58 AM · For: Chapter 23

Amazing amazing story! I’m hooked, and I love the depth to this story. I need more! Please keep writing.

Author's Response:

Thank you so much, Katie!! This was an awesome surprise to find here today. I’m so glad that you are liking the story. I’m trying to work on the new chapter (...as I procrastinate and come here to respond to your review...lol) but have no fear, it *will* come. Thank you for what you said about the “depth”. That makes me feel good, because I’ve really been trying to touch upon all of these complicated layers of trauma and healing as we work toward EO... Really appreciate your feedback. Thanks! Xoxo, Jessica 

Name: eotopia (Signed) · Date: 16 Jun 2018 08:19 AM · For: Chapter 23

 

OH MY FUCKING GOD.

 

I'm back on my crack and I'm fucking loving it.

 

OK FIRSTLY.. MY PALMS ARE SWEATING OVER THAT SCENE IN BED.

LITERALLY! They are clammy.

 

I WASN'T READY FOR IT. BUT THEN I WAS.. REALLY READY FOR IT... IF

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. ;) Bah!

 

"Elliot tucked his tongue against the side of his cheek, nodding back at her with his eyes narrowed.  "Uh-huh."

 

UM FUCK ME. THAT IS FUCKING CHRIS MELONI, CHRIS KELLER AND ELLIOT STABLER ALL ROLLED INTO ONE YOU FUCKING GENIUS!

 

HOW DID I HOLD OUT FROM READING THIS FOR SO LONG??

 

I was just waiting for the perfect time, for me not to be consumed by any life drama and BS so I could full entrench myself into this wondrous chapter with zero distractions AND I REGRET EVERYTHING BECAUSE I NEEDED THIS BACK WHEN THE MOON WAS FULL SO I COULD HAVE BINGED ON IT EVERY DAY SINCE! THE FUCK.

 

"They were edging more and more closely to the point of no return, each of them aware of the fact that once the restraint was gone, there would be no middle ground."  

 

I CAN'T BREATHE! WHERE THE FUUUUCK IS THIS SCENE BECASUE THIS WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME AND I NEED IT NOW. HASHTAG NO MIDDLE GROUND! SPREAD THE WORD.

 

And because I know you love quotes, I'm gonna quote the hell out of this next part - ARE YOU READY??

 

"He thought back to the first time he'd slipped his fingers through her hair - when she'd given him permission to kiss her in those final moments before the undercover op.  He had wanted to do it so many times over the years, watching the silky strands fall across her forehead when she was hunched over a file at her desk.  He had done it again at the club, searching for a way to offer her gentleness as she knelt at his feet beneath the table that night.  Somehow, despite all they had been through to date, he felt as though the intimacy contained in this gesture was one that made each of them feel the most peaceful."

 

ICONIC!!! I JUST QUOTED A NOVELLA - HIS 'HAIR TOUCH' IS NOW A TRUE BREAKING POINT ICON. 'TM' THE MF**KR OUT OF IT! I REMEMBER THESE SCENES SO VIVIDLY BTW and I'm so glad you referenced them. And I also love your reference of her back in their glory days when he stared at her daily from across the desk BECAUSE HE ALL KNOW HE FUCKING DID!

 

I'm sorry for all the swearing but I'm on heat after that first scene woman and I'm losing my shit!

 

I CAN'T WAIT FOR THEM TO BANG!!! TELL ME IT'S SOON.

 

And there you have it - that is my official review for the first 1755 words!

 

Stay tuned for the rest!!! Bahahah.

 

X

 

Author's Response:

I...LOVE YOU!! You already know this given our Messenger exchange, but this was such an amazing review to wake up to that day, and I keep coming back here when I need a smile. I love that the beginning caught you by surprise (despite my attempts to drop subtle hints during the full moon...) and I love that you “saw”  that expression on Elliot/Keller/Meloni’s face and it felt like him. I can see it so clearly, so...yay! (Always a challenge to replicate an image verbally, right??) Anyway - LOL re: your “HASHTAG NO MIDDLE GROUND”. Hahaha. We’re getting there, I promise. Also, for the record, regarding your quoted novella, he can play with my hair whenever he wants. ;) Aaaand...now I’m tasked with writing the impossible. *Gah*. This is going to be a challenging chapter... I hope I can do it justice. Thanks for your awesome self...and your amazingly supportive words (and nudges). Keep nudging me along. It helps. :) Xoxoxox, Jessica

Name: Blinkyblinks (Signed) · Date: 01 Jun 2018 06:27 PM · For: Chapter 23

It’s so emotional, I can’t stop cryy

Author's Response:

Aww, Marcy! I’m sorry to make you cry...but also glad, in a way, because that means the words are doing something right.  (I’ve shed tears while writing it, so I’m also relieved it’s not just me...lol.) Sending much love your way, and thank you so much for taking the time to make outreach. It means so much... xoxo, Jessica 

Name: Blinkyblinks (Signed) · Date: 31 May 2018 10:24 PM · For: Chapter 22

Beautiful 

Author's Response:

Thank you, Marcy! ❤️  So appreciate your feedback. xoxo, Jessica 

Name: jammie13 (Signed) · Date: 31 May 2018 03:09 PM · For: Chapter 23

Thank you so much for the update!  This story has me completely mezmorized!!!  I love it so much!  You are amazing!

Author's Response:

Thanks so much, Jo!!  I’m so glad you liked the update! :) As always, I so appreciate your feedback and your words came at the perfect moment today. Many, many thanks for your awesome support of the story. xoxo, Jessica

Name: Sburch03 (Signed) · Date: 29 May 2018 10:25 AM · For: Chapter 23

What a gift you’ve given all of us by returning to this story. Every chapter you’ve written has been phenomenal to say the least and this chapter, like so many of the others, is shear PERFECTION!!

Author's Response:

Thank you so much, Stephanie!!! I don’t think you know how much of a gift it was to me to read your incredibly kind words.  I’m so glad that you are liking the new chapters and am especially glad that this one resonated with you. I go through a process each time I write a new chapter, where I think I’m ready to post, then second guess myself, agonize over re-reads, and then essentially post and run... I so appreciate all of your feedback, but especially this time as I was having a moment of mega doubt. Thanks, thanks, thanks for this (and for sticking with me and this story after all of these years...) xoxo, Jessica

Name: Lulu2354 (Signed) · Date: 28 May 2018 11:54 PM · For: Chapter 23

I don't even have the words to describe this chapter - funny, heart-warming, sad. You are such an incredible writer and you make these characters come alive. You are amazing 😊

Author's Response:

Thank you so much! This truly means so much to me... I’m so glad you felt/feel this way. You brought a smile to my face during a needed moment, so thank you for your kind words. xoxo, Jessica 

Name: Georgia_v_g (Signed) · Date: 23 Apr 2018 01:09 PM · For: Chapter 1

Oooookay. Obviously I re-read the whole things because let's face it, I'm not 20 anymore - or even in my twenties. Which just shows how much time has passed since the best Days in SVU history and the world of fanfic. 

I was so shook and for some reason this time around I felt for them even more than I did back then because life and all right? God, poor Olivia. Poor Elliot. Poor me for having to suffer through it (and enjoying it at the very same time). 

The charger of my MacBook somehow broke halfway through BP and I reached my own Breaking Point. Ha. 

No seriously, I'm just rambling. This story is fantastic and so well written, it was a joy to read it from start to Chapter 22 - and I can't wait for the next chapter(s) to see how Liv and Elliot will deal with everything. You're my hero. And yes, I've been searching the net up and down for this Fic for years, I've had old contacts send me everything they still had saved from various E/O writers and had no such luck to stumble across BP. So THANK YOU for making it available here. I love this so, so much. 

Author's Response:

Selina!!!!! I love you so much for taking the time not only to leave me this awesome feedback, but for taking the time to re-read the whole thing! (Not a short undertaking...believe me, I’ve done it 40,000 times...lol). And poor you and the charger reaching your breaking points!! Hahaha. I’m so, *so* sorry that I abandoned this for so many years.  Life happened...the site crashed...and I kind of gave up on everything (myself and this story included).  So once I found myself again, it took me a while to find my versions of El and Liv (and the oomph to start writing again). Hence the 40,000 re-reads...lol.  At any rate, it truly made me smile to “see” you here today.  Feels like old times - and amen (in your bio) for the GHoL era... I so miss the people, the stories, the banter, etc.  I’m happy to have been there for a part of it, and am so glad for the real life friendships that emerged from it. Anyway, as per BP, I understand what you mean about time giving a different perspective. Things have hit me differently in different ways every time I went back to this story over the years - especially since there’s quite a bit of cathartic processing in there for me of my own stuff while writing it. The emotions are heavy, and I’m still fighting to do them justice in the aftermath. This next chapter is taking a while because I’m struggling to get things the way I envision them in my head... It will come though! (And not after a gargantuan gap this time...at least not years! Lol...) And please know that I have every intention of reading your stories once BP is finished! I can’t wait! :) Thanks, thanks, thanks for this and for you being you... xoxoxo Jessica 

 

Name: Test (Signed) · Date: 15 Apr 2018 08:02 PM · For: Chapter 22

Had to reread story since it had been a while and found myself enjoying it more than first time! Great job. Hope you update soon!

Author's Response:

Thank you so much, Tammy! I can’t believe you re-read it all! That’s so amazing. I’m so glad you enjoyed it on the second read through.  I’ve actually been working on the next chapter today.  It’s coming along slowly, but I promise it’ll get there... My mantra these days is, “Just keep swimming...”  I have a clear picture of what I want in this next update, but it’s taking me a while to get it the way I see it.  Thank you so much for your support and for taking the time to make outreach. (Also, please let me know if you want me to change your username to something else now that we got over the registration hurdle.) All my best, Jessica xoxo

Name: Lee (Signed) · Date: 01 Apr 2018 01:33 PM · For: Chapter 22

   Wow, you write such palpable emotion! Your words paint the scenes so beautifully that I can see it all played out in my mind.

   So looking forward to reading more!

Author's Response:

Thank you so much, Lee!  I'm so glad the emotion resonated for you... (I actually made myself cry while writing parts of Elliot's meltdown...Whoops!)  I'm so happy that you feel as though you can "see" the story.  I see it so clearly in my mind that I am often frustrated that I can't actually watch them act it out in real life... In lieu of that, my hope is that I can write it in a way where the imagery is there.  I so appreciate the feedback, and this was such a nice surprise today.  Many thanks!! xoxoxo, Jessica

Name: MotherTucker (Signed) · Date: 21 Mar 2018 12:16 PM · For: Chapter 22

I have finally caught up thanks to the snow day. Oy the emotion behind the last two chapters has gutted me - in a good way. Elliot’s guilt is almost palpable. It jumps off the page with such intensity. And Olivia, it’s nice to see her finding the strength to be what he needs rn - and him letting her. Sigh. I’m so glad the writing muse has settled in and we’re getting more of this story. 

Author's Response:

Thanks so much! This was a lovely surprise... (I’m glad one of us got a snow day...) I’m so glad the intensity of emotion resonated for you as a reader (besides me while I was writing it). I’ve always felt like Elliot and Olivia have a yin/yang thing going - when one of them is struggling, the other finds his/her strength and vice versa.  Clearly Olivia has a ton of trauma to work through (as she has been) but Elliot does too, and I felt the need to let some of his demons surface again in these later chapters since so much of the earlier and middle chapters were (by necessity) Liv-focused.  The upcoming chapter will be a doozy, and I’m hoping I can find a way to write it the way I see it in my head... Stay warm! xoxo, Jessica 

Name: Lulu2354 (Signed) · Date: 18 Mar 2018 02:25 AM · For: Chapter 22

I loved how Olivia proved her point! Awesome update!!!

Author's Response:

Ha! Thank you!  Sometimes in the face of stubborn, hard-headed EO arguments, words don’t get the job done so other means are necessary... ;) I’m so glad you liked the update and thanks so much for taking the time to leave me your thoughts. xoxo, Jessica

Name: eotopia (Signed) · Date: 18 Mar 2018 12:29 AM · For: Chapter 22

"Ten years and three days, Liv."

 

Save my soul. This chapter was so beautiful in so many ways. I loved their intimate scene at the end. You do them so much justice Jess. This scene has left me sad, sleepy and hopeful. Such a perfect addition to this story. 

Author's Response:

Thank you for this - and for reading when I know you aren’t feeling in the mood to do so. I’m so glad you liked the update and am glad that the intimacy resonated. I value your input so much... xoxo, Jessica